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11
A man is the means of proving his praise. If you want to know whether praise you
hear about a man is accurate, look to the man; his character will eventually prove or disprove
such praise. Also, if you want to know whether the praise you hear from a man is
worthwhile, look to the man: Is he honest? Does he exhibit integrity? Or does he flatter and
speak with ulterior motives?
A man can test the praise given him to see if any of it is valid, if it is deserved. A
man should test the praise he receives by passing it through the fire, and he should only take
to heart the pure praise. A man can assay the praise he receives and determine how much of
it is merely flattery and false praise. If a man does not receive much good praise, there is a
process he can employ to improve it, to refine it.
A man can also improve the praise he gives. Over time, through a process of
refining, a man can learn to give honest praise that encourages, enables, and invigorates those
around him. A man can stop giving praise that expects a favor in return; he can stop giving
obsequious praise to those in positions over him, with the ulterior motive of self-
advancement; he can stop giving rote praise to those under him; he can stop telling "little
white lies" in his praise because he hasn't expended the energy to discern or discover things
that are truly praiseworthy. A person in authority can learn to give honest praise to those
under him. Rather than just saying, "Good job," he can learn to express specific appreciation
for particular duties performed. A man can learn to praise his wife and his children in a way
that is most appropriate and most edifying to each. He can praise from his heart, rather than
out of mere formality or politeness. Some people give the same rote praise to their spouses
time after time; a person can learn to give praise that really reflects what he or she feels for
the other at that moment, in that situation. A wise person will do this.